Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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