he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
