i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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