Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I need water and some morals
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
