Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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