you guys were way drunker than both of me
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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