in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
