i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
