i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
