we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
