Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
