I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
