That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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