i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
