Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
