Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
only you would photoshop your dick
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
