I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize