TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
