I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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