Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just pee around me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
