we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
