i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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