I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
