The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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