JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
