Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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