She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
