you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
