dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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