Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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