I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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