I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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