He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
