For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
