i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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