i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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