we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize
