you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Randomize