Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I FOUND THE LEGS
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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