If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
