I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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