He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
