My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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