my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize