Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
