So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I FOUND THE LEGS
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
