my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize