So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Drunk is not a location!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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