You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
