i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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