I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
