# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
