Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
nutella sex= disaster
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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