I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
