it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize