it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize