Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
