Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
