just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
