3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
