Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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