Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
