Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
