shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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