I want to make a zoo with you.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
