I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
