she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
