is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
