a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
