Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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