I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
