So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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