my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
