I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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