My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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