if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
